Change is scary. The fear of creating a divide with people you love that wasn’t there before. As you move down a different path, moving towards what feels right, you may feel yourself drifting away from patterns you’ve been seemingly happy in, and away from people who you shared these times with.
Truth is, growth is slow. The fear of not being accepted is powerful. The fear of still being me, without the patterns that I’ve grown out of, the patterns that no longer serve me. The line in the song Sober Up by AJR “we smile at party time, but soon we forget to smile at everything else”, resonates with me. Chasing happiness does not bring happiness. Practicing awareness and connecting to who I am in the present moment, without judgement, has helped me focus my energy on what’s important to me.
As I continue to come to my mat and practice being aware, I notice how good I feel, and then it becomes harder not to practice. I begin to find the time, carving it out, creating time where it wasn’t there before. On my mat I let go of the past…or at least as waves of thoughts enter, I bring my attention back to my breath, or my intention, or my mantra. All three anchor me to the present. It’s in this place I start to feel what it is I want. I get a glimmer of who I am, peeling back layers revealing my true self. A glimpse of the ‘me’ that’s under all the stories I’ve created about myself, things that are merely behavioural habits that I can slowly start chipping away at, working with, and with loving-kindness move in the direction that truly serves me.
Energy increases as we move closer to the sun. We feel inspired to declutter our homes, get outside and create new routines. As spring bursts with new life it can bring with it change, growth and reawakening. Enjoy the light!